I remember going to a certain Christmas party when I was 6 or 7 years old. At this party people were exchanging gifts and I remember this one man receiving a gift that everyone was crowding around to watch him open, everyone waited with anticipation as he tore the paper from his gift and when he opened it everyone cheered, laughed and clapped. I was thinking that he must have gotten the coolest gift ever because everyone was so excited about it and I wanted what he had.
When I got home I begged and begged and cried to my mother that I had to have this "thing" that this guy got at the party, I felt like I was missing out on something great. She asked if I knew what it was and I had no idea what it was or did, but I knew I had to have it. For days which felt like weeks I cried that I wanted this particular "thing" so my mother eventually decided to take me to the store. She told me to look for it and see if I could find it. I looked all over the store, I knew I would recognize it if I saw it and then finally I did! I had finally found this "thing" that had to be so cool because it made everyone laugh and cheer and now I could have it too! With the utmost of excitement I grabbed my mom and dragged her over to the aisle and pointed at what I had wanted so desperately. You could imagine my sheer disappointment when she started laughing hysterically and asked "is that what you have been crying about all this time? NO! I am not getting you that!" Oh how I CRIED I mean how could this be? How could she not want to get me the very thing that I wanted so badly. She called her friend over to see my beloved thing and said to the friend, "Chrissy wants a toilet brush." She told me to go pick out a barbie instead but I didn't want anything else. We left the store without my thing and I couldn't understand how she could be so cruel.
As an adult looking back at that story I realize that the man was receiving a gag gift and it was some kind of inside joke, but to me it appeared to be something of great value and brought great joy. I was too small to be able to comprehend the entirety of the situation and the reason behind such a gift or I would have realized that the toilet brush wasn't exactly something I needed at that point in time. The reality was I wanted what I saw without even knowing anything about it and I questioned my mother as to how she could keep me from obtaining it, but she knew best. She didn't want her daughter playing with a toilet brush, she wanted me to have something better.
I play this scenario in my head a lot whenever I feel a "no" in my way. I stop and think that it could be possible that I don't know all I should about what it is that I'm reaching for, and it may be all wrong for me in the first place. As an adult I obviously make all of my own decisions and I don't need anyone to tell me yes or no if I want something. However, there are times that I still want what I probably shouldn't have despite the "no's" that creep up and try to stop me. Maybe I should actually pay attention and realize that the "no" was put in my way for a reason, and seek to understand the situation as a whole, lest I end up with the toilet brush version of what I should actually be striving for. If you do not desire the very best, then you will never ever have it. True story.
