Breaking up is hard *ahem* easy to do

Ah breakups, they suck. They suck really bad because it is never entirely clear whose fault it really was. Who had the malfunction that lead to the dissolution of a partnership? It is always in my nature to make sure I don't ever make the same mistake twice, therefore I have been entirely perplexed and dedicated to the pursuit of determining the root cause of this issue.

I have racked my brain for weeks trying to come to a logical conclusion as to how someone can care about you one minute and want nothing to do with you the next when you have done nothing wrong? After all the tears subsided and after all the initial heartache mended I came to my conclusion: I did do something wrong.

I was settling for less than I knew I deserved and wanted. That alone is not fair to anyone involved but most of all to me. I was lying to myself and pretending that things did not bother me even when they did, and I was also lying to myself and pretending that things bothered me even when they didn't. A lack of truthfulness on all accounts was at the heart of our situation and was the disease that lead to our eventual demise.

When it ended it was painful, it hurt almost worse than anything I have ever been through, so I tried to rationalize just why it hurt so bad when I knew he was so wrong for me. I concluded that I had indeed cared for him, and I knew things would have been different had I been more honest about what I wanted from the beginning. Honesty is the ultimate rock a relationship must be built upon; anything less is quicksand.

I am not always a fan of life's little lessons but I suppose this situation was out there just lingering for me to grasp hold of. I was meant to go through this so that I could fix and change the very things that always seem to bring me back to square one. "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it", thanks I did in fact learn my lesson this time, fixed the problem and do not intend on repeating. Sometimes it takes a bolt of lightning to shake you to your core, and sometimes it takes a failed relationship.

Celebrating St Patricks Day the Sober Way

Searching for the most atypical way to celebrate a much celebrated drunken holiday, I chose to call my soberest friend. She was always my party girl, and someone I could always count on having the best evening of my life with, and then she quit drinking. Through her recoil from the assiduous cries of her addiction, I found myself seeing life a little differently. I found that although getting a little pickled from time to time can help one relax, it isn't inherently the main ingredient for a good time

Our sober-fest was a blast, we relaxed at my friends house while telling stories of our most non-sober of evenings, some were funny some were actually sad and scary. We were all laughing at the funny stories probably all thinking to ourselves that this is why we drank in the first place, and for the not so funny of stories, I'm sure we were all thinking that this why we are choosing NOT to be drinking at this point in time. To drink or not to drink, but can we control it if we do? Now that is the question.

I am the type of person that gets sick after just a minimal amount of alcohol. I think its safe to say most people feel sick after an evening of too much drinking, but people probably seldom feel sick after an evening of too much not drinking. Could it be that our bodies weren't necessarily designed for this kind of toxic abuse?

It felt good to refrain from the substance for the evening, and to reflect and celebrate sobriety, self-control and bodily wellness. I knew I would be waking up feeling a lot better than some who had decided to to allow the green light for drinking overrun their sober mind. I was also pleased with myself to know that I can have a great time with my friends and in general without a need to poison myself first, during or after. "Be ye sober minded," not such bad advice after all, cheers!

Food

Last night I bought goat cheese, macadamia nuts, malba toast, pepperoni, soy milk, fresh pasta and pesto sauce and the new cereal with chocolate. The cereal was horrible and had the strangest flavor, I will never purchase it again.

I am a self-proclaimed foode. I love to try different things and have very strong opinions about food. I have had the opportunity to travel and sample various cuisines and focused much of my schooling on culture and food; food as it related to a culture and vise-versa. I admire people like Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern for branching out and making the cusinely "weird" a little more un-weird to us, as we see that not everyone eats the same kinds of things. You would think that the popularization of shows such as these would open people up a little to accept the concept that there is no "normal" when it comes to food, only what we perceive as normal.

My typical trip to the grocery store seldom consists of buying food that would make a standard "American" dinner, however, I somehow get by on it just fine. I buy exactly what I like and want, and people tell me I don't eat "normal." What exactly is normal for Americans? I actually had a cashier make fun of my purchases at one time because I had a cart full of stuff, and only one package of meat. She said I didn't get anything to make a meal out of! I didn't mind her vocal participation on the summary of my purchases however, it was her view on what I bought that got me: Why are we conditioned to think that if we don't have our meals centered around meat that we aren't eating normally?

The American perception of a typical square meal perplexed me in college and it still does today. The good news is, as America is becoming more and more diverse, change is occurring, and the ideas of what is culturally normal is dissipating and blurring the lines between what we thought and what should be considered "normal."