The Curvy Man Child

They say that the average American male is about 5'9", 175lbs (which is actually 6lbs overweight). Only roughly 13% of men are physically fit and of those that actually own fitness equipment about 45% of those men use the equipment as a place to hang their clothes. Men these days crave comfort and stability in a way that only women in the past have identified with. The romantic ideals of a man likened to the heroic and idealistic physique of Russel crow and Mel Gibson are replaced by the squishy reality that is our typical American man. Working from home, online dating and fast-food have taken the typical go-getting, self-driven man and turned him into something horrible and terrifying: the man-child.

The modern day man-child plays video games, loves the comfort of his own couch and enjoys comfortable footwear (he may or may not own a pair of white sneakers). This man isn't all that concerned with obtaining a strong, smart and attractive woman, because they are lucky if they obtain anyone at all. This is a huge problem, because the modern day woman is assertive, attractive and generally appealing. This woman isn't desperate to have children the minute she turns 18 and she isn't attracted to the sloth-like man-child that only seems to exist in middle America. The question is, how do I spot this man-child before he spots me? How do I avoid getting sucked into his crib of slothfulness?

The man-child may not show his true colors at first, he may appear stable, well mannered, cleanly and generally concerned about you, this sounds good right? WRONG! The man-child is a vicious predator that is in search of comfort, stability and is a fan of anything conventional. He wants to dominate, procreate and then he wants dinner. Run do not walk to an exit if he has an inordinate amount of free weekends available and wants your schedule to immediately mimic his. This man is first and foremost concerned about only himself and his own needs and he is only concerned about you to the extent that you can fulfill them. If you want to kiss your life goodbye ladies then just look for the slothful man with an open schedule because you probably have yourself a man-child.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

"Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me"

Honesty, faithfulness and trust are the things that any relationship must be built upon to stand a fighting chance. The very things that are so vital to the survival of a budding relationship are the very things that are withheld until they are "earned." My mantra has always been to be up front and honest without holding back, sometimes it works out in my favor, and sometimes it dosent... It really all depends on who your talking to, and their willingness to divulge. The problem with being honest, is that I can spot dishonesty in a nano-second, and its there my friend that we have a problem,..

Tell just one lie and it isn't long before you have discovered that you have told and entire nest of lies just to cover up your original one, and there I will be watching you squirm like a fly trapped to the web you flew into. Before you realize it, you won't even remember what your initial story was even about! Lying is all encompassing, and can take over you like a fungus. Let it get out of hand and you wont even be able to recognize yourself anymore. Once you choose to become a "liar" you choose to become a different person entirely and leave the shell of who you once were. I hate lying more than I hate cheap shoes, it repulses me, and causes me to lose respect instantly for the person. Once I realize I have been lied to, I literally cannot believe anything else that they tell me and it hurts because I know there will never be a full circle of trust between me and them.

We think just because we don't see the repercussions immediately we think we never will, right? God, karma, Allah, Tom Cruise, whatever you choose to pray to or believe in will come back to bite you in the ass eventually, and let me tell you, you will be wishing it was just your mom trying to spank you with a wooden spoon. Adult repercussions are way worse, they can destroy friendships, relationships and even marriages. Truth be told, lying isn't worth it.

Breaking up is hard *ahem* easy to do

Ah breakups, they suck. They suck really bad because it is never entirely clear whose fault it really was. Who had the malfunction that lead to the dissolution of a partnership? It is always in my nature to make sure I don't ever make the same mistake twice, therefore I have been entirely perplexed and dedicated to the pursuit of determining the root cause of this issue.

I have racked my brain for weeks trying to come to a logical conclusion as to how someone can care about you one minute and want nothing to do with you the next when you have done nothing wrong? After all the tears subsided and after all the initial heartache mended I came to my conclusion: I did do something wrong.

I was settling for less than I knew I deserved and wanted. That alone is not fair to anyone involved but most of all to me. I was lying to myself and pretending that things did not bother me even when they did, and I was also lying to myself and pretending that things bothered me even when they didn't. A lack of truthfulness on all accounts was at the heart of our situation and was the disease that lead to our eventual demise.

When it ended it was painful, it hurt almost worse than anything I have ever been through, so I tried to rationalize just why it hurt so bad when I knew he was so wrong for me. I concluded that I had indeed cared for him, and I knew things would have been different had I been more honest about what I wanted from the beginning. Honesty is the ultimate rock a relationship must be built upon; anything less is quicksand.

I am not always a fan of life's little lessons but I suppose this situation was out there just lingering for me to grasp hold of. I was meant to go through this so that I could fix and change the very things that always seem to bring me back to square one. "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it", thanks I did in fact learn my lesson this time, fixed the problem and do not intend on repeating. Sometimes it takes a bolt of lightning to shake you to your core, and sometimes it takes a failed relationship.