Unpublished Works

I stopped to have a relationship: 

2010

I had it all open to me, I had ambition, drive and passion. When I graduated college I knew I had so many possibilities open to me that were never open before, I knew I could make things happen for myself. However, instead of taking life by the reigns and finding the opportunities that would progress me in my career endeavors, I found (…). 

 

 

From the minute I met (…)I was smitten, we were side by side as often as time and work permitted. I enjoyed him around and enjoyed our time with my friends, and for once in my life I actually wanted to be in a relationship. I thought I found the perfect guy, well, until I found out all of his secrets. (…) told me he was divorced when I met him, which was not at all true, he was "separated" which is NOT divorced. This is lie #1 and marks the beginning of the

 

When you wish upon a star: 

July 2010 

I'm 31. I have a degree, I have my own place to live, and I am completely self-sufficient (as much as one can be) yet I feel as if I have accomplished nothing.

 

The Fix Up: 

June 2011

We've all been there, you know what I am talking about, your friends boyfriends hot friend is single and she wants to fix you up with him. You both go out and she asks you everything about him, she actually seems more interested in how your date went then you do! Or maybe you have experienced this: you are a guy and your girlfriends friend is cute and single and you want to fix your buddy up with her and you want to know the details afterward (yes guys like details too) Either way the situation is flipped I have experienced "the fix up" through personal experience, through secondary experience and through third party experience and every single time it failed, I am going to explain why.

My experience has been your girlfriend knows a guy that is just perfect for you! In fact she is probably even platonic friends and in a relationship herself so you know she is not interested in him right? wrong! fixing up her best guy friend with you is just the same as dating him herself, almost! if your sleeping with him, she is sleeping with him in spirit, she gets to hear all the gossip about him, and keep him close and who knows! her friendship with him may even grow stronger and completely pass under the radar of you and her love interest as "just friends" because after all she is involved and so is he, with you! so buyer beware! you don't always know what your buying into even if you know the seller!

 

Tales of boyfriends past 

April 2011

Let's call him Harley:

"My cigarettes taste better than this chicken" Harley said to me one winter evening while sampling the meal I so thoughtfully and skillfully put together. All I could do was laugh, I might not be the best cook on the planet but I CAN cook. Most men would eat anything that their woman thought enough to put together just for them but NO not Harley. Ungrateful is too weak a word to describe the magnitude of which this man felt his own sense of entitlement.

 

The Sane and the Disturbed: 

December 2011

"It's the crazy ones that have the good pills" said Samantha Jones from the HBO series Sex and the City, and she isn't far off from the truth. A little crazy can be fun and add some spice to an otherwise bland existence but a lot of crazy is a different playing field all together. I have seen it all and have been through more. 

I do my best to offer advice and to be a good friend to everyone but the reality remains, I am a magnet for it! I know what that ringing phone means in the middle of the night and I also know how to ignore it, it isn't always my problem to fix.

It took me years to accept the fact that as long as I am alive I will attract certain people. Maybe it's because of my background with my own mother and her instability. People that have a need in themselves that they cannot possibly find a way to fulfill on their own will cling to those that they feel can. Those who are unstable do not see life the way that most stable people do. They cannot see the whole picture, they do not see their fundamental role in their own lives, and they need assistance. It is the way from where they are to where they want to go that they simply cannot find the way to.

Those who are compassionate, such as myself, can easily become drained. It is important to set boundaries for yourself and to realize that you cannot save anyone, but you can guide and help people with compassion and continue to be their friend. Know that you can learn from them and will grow from the help that you provide. Know that they are put there for your personal development as well, and shunning them, shuns yourself.